Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
