when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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