oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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