I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
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All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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