is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
