yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
