Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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