I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
