We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
