Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
