i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
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if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
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He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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