I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
