it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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