70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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