eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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