I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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