I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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