im about as happy as oj after his trial
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
