If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
