Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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