we have officially lost it.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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