I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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