why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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