I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
