Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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