Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
