the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
