tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
