I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
