If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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