belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
