quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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