dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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