i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
