remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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