one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
