He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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