3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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