he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
