just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I need to stop coming to work sober
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
