I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Acid is not a monday night drug
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
