on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
