You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
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I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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