Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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