i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
