just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
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We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
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Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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