at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
