Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
