is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
