i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
