Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
