I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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