This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
