is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
