just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
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Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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