scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
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you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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