mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
