i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
