seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
