Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
